Friendship

Friendship

Two things, according to Emerson, are necessary for any friendship.

Truth

and

Tenderness.

Two things cause a balk in friendship.

Antagonism

and

Compliance, condescension or acquiescence.

The goal of the antagonist is the defeat of the other.

Compliance yields to power, not truth.

Condescension simply lets the other win without the involvement of truth.

Acquiescence ignores truth as well.

Friendship, however requires a mutual seeking of truth

Beyond the present understanding of the friends.

Friendship recognizes that truth is not the sole property of either

But rather is beyond our present understanding.

Friendship requires a tender seeking of truth

Without the hard edges of antagonism

Or condescending acquiescence

Without the consensus regarding the truthful

Conclusion of the matter or a position closer to the truth

Than present understanding.

Tenderness toward one another implies

A deep and abiding regard, love, for the other.

Friendship requires the ability to

Table a discussion for further joint effort.

It can tolerate the presence of unsettled issues

While the gray of doubt and uncertainty is separated

Into elements about which conclusions

Satisfactory to the view of each friend can be reached.

There is, in friendship,

Substantial room for hypothesis about the truth

Before conclusions are reached.

Ideology reaches conclusions about truth

Without the hard work of rational analysis.

Ideology without rational

Kills conversation.

And therefore friendship.

Friendship and conversation are largely

Binary operations.

With effort, two may develop sufficient understanding

of one another's

Restrictive fixed ideology

To converse on a subject.

As others join the pair,

Conversation ceases

And shallows to talk of the weather.

The complexities of comprehending the

Self interests of the larger group

Are too much to manage.

If I say this, one will be off ended.

If I say that, the other will be off ended.

If I say nothing, they will think I am rude.

If I am eager to off end, I have lost tenderness.

So

“Lets talk about the weather.”

The weather is immune to

The complexities of truth.

Conversation, as the group grows,

Morphs into negotiation,

A platform for exerting influence,

Forwarding an agenda,

Forcing compliance,

Or other elements of self interest.

Or

The talk is restricted to

The weather.

Is it any wonder

That friends are hard to come by?

Billy R. Masten

05/12/10